I have received a complaint concerning my last medical update because it did not relay sufficient medical detail; specifically, a number on the pain scale from 0 to 10 was not included. Naturally this came from an OB nurse. As most of you know, pain is a complex entity influenced by many variables including type of pain medication, time between doses, wimpiness of the patient, and countless other obscure factors. For those of you who need to know the quantitative amount of my discomfort on a 0 to 10 scale, I have provided the below formula. (0 equals no pain and 10 equals unbearable pain) Pain medication is taken every 3-6 hours prn.

Pain Scale Formula

 

 

 

P = Pain

X = the angle created by the sun's shadow

DJIA = Dow Jones Industrial Average

Y = Number of Presidential Affairs

a = Maximum pain level

T = Time Interval from last pain medication

This is a serious mathematical formula.  Anyone with a rudimentary mathematical background should be capable of performing the calculation.

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